Thursday, November 14, 2013

Fear Conquerer

I bring this up hesitantly, as I heard on NPR the other day that dreams are one of the 7 things you're not supposed to bring up in conversation (because they're boring and no one cares).
I do lots of things in my 30's that would have scared me in my 20's. For instance, I run my own business. I also do my own bookkeeping, and cook things other than stir fry. I drive into large cities by myself without a navigator. I run more than 1 mile at a time... in places people can see me. The more I conquer former terrors, the more confident I feel in all aspects of my life... and I guess that's what growing up is about (or is it the opposite? Learning how many things you know nothing about? I can't decide). It seems ridiculous when I tell you that my worst fear is not something out of a horror movie, or the crime blotter, or involving failure, but an insignificant scene from a recurring nightmare...involving a Disney character... staring at me through my bedroom window. I won't ask you what it means.
My friend Albert recently painted me a picture to help conquer (or at least explain to others?) my terror of being stared at in my sleep by the evil witch in Sleeping Beauty. In his illustration, the roles are reversed, and although I am surely being patronized, I still appreciate the sentiment. Basically, the nightmare is that I wake up in my childhood bedroom, everything is normal, quiet, and dark. I glance out the window, and there with her face pressed up against the pane is Maleficent the witch. She never hurts me, or even talks. She just stands there, 2 yards away with a window between us, and stares. Even telling you about it is horrifying to me. What could be worse? I don't know.
 While I would normally agree that dream talk should be the top of the list of things that positively bore everyone but the dreamer, I am alerting you to this topic because it is suddenly a current event. Angelina Jolie is about to play this wretched character in a new remake of Sleeping Beauty, told in the way of "Wicked"... you know... where the witch is victim?  I know I'll likely be forced to sit through it as a mean joke, and I will likely tell you about it, and I don't want you to think I saw it because I wanted to. I didn't. That would be insane. The only thing more terrifying to me than a cartoon witch staring at me through my window at night (oh, did I mention it's the actual cartoon version? yes. that. IS. still terrifying. think about it)...  is Angelina Jolie, in the flesh, dressed like that cartoon character, and staring at me through my window at night. Or maybe the nightmare that that evokes is the terrifying thing. Or maybe, just maybe, the thought that I'm so boring that I might actually admit that nightmare to you because I have nothing better to say... is perhaps the most terrifying of all.
When the time comes, I'll try to keep my mouth (and the bedroom curtains) sealed shut.


Phil Davis said...

Oh hell yes, we are going to see Angelina play Malificent!

Kim said...

My re-occurring dream also involves a witch! She is at the bottom of the yard of my childhood home and she is stirring a pot of green liquid and trying to get me and my brother to drink it. And we try to scramble up the hill away from her, but a storm is coming and she is chasing us... aaaagh!

Red Prairie Press said...

Kim this sounds equally as awful! Good luck out there!

Kimberly Labarre said...

maybe you need Prince Philip (yes, that is the actual sleeping beauty prince's name!) to come dashing in on his noble steed and slay the evil witch! that's what happens in real life

Red Prairie Press said...

Husband references aside... I must say that as a modern woman, the thought of a stranger making out with my dead sleeping body in the forest sounds a lil' less consensual, and a lil more creep-o-ville to me. Plus, the prince never fights the witch, does he? his only skill is making out. (I like to think my own Phil would probably at least call 911... )